by Jill MacGregor

I have a strong belief that each of us has the capacity to do anything is we wish. Some of us work harder to get what we want. Some of us drag our heels and blame a lack of natural talents for the lack of progress. Is about enthusiasm? What keeps us from reaching for our dreams?

Your Fake Smile

Listen, we’ve all done at one point in our lives. There’s this thing, and you have to do it, and you see it as having no value yet, at the same time, you must convey excitement about it to an outside group.

You are polishing the turd.

There’s no joy in it. It does not matter how shiny you get it. It’s always going to be a turd.

Why do you bother?

There’s usually some side benefit you derive that keeps you on this hamster wheel. Maybe the group you are surrounded with is fantastic and the thought of not seeing them everyday makes you stay put—so you polish. Or, you might feel you have no choice in the matter. You are frozen in a moment, stuck in the Land of Have To, which borders StuckInaRutVille. So you polish. You might think you are obliged to continue because you need the money, have misplaced responsibility or worse yet you’ve lost your ability to see other options.

Polish.

So you spit and you polish and develop callouses. You work hard shining it up and you tell yourself all that work is forward motion—you apply maximum effort but nothing changes.

Once a turd, always a…well, you know.

I am encouraging you to put it down—yes, that’s it. Just put it down. There…better?

What are you excited about?

We all have things that excite us. You might consider that thing that excites you a hobby because even though you LOVE it, you don’t think there’s any way to make it a serious pursuit. Bet what that really means is that you have to get outside of your comfort zone, bring your *hobby* into the light and allow others to watch you love it. You will be different, feel different if you do that. That could feel scary. You may end up being a different version of yourself.

Interesting…

You may want to visit Daring Acts—How To Work Without A Net, for more on this subject.

If you could do anything, what would it be?

I want to tell you a story about something that happened to me about 10 years ago. I was working at a TV station in sales in Seattle. I was downtown and walking fast (because I was so important), trying to get to an advertising agency for an appointment. Hustle, pimp, hustle, pimp.

When you spend a lot of time in downtown Seattle you become very accustomed to tourists waving their maps at you and asking for directions. We are preternaturally helpful in Seattle, which makes us geographically predisposed to offer help.

“Where’s Westlake Center?” “It’s behind you.”

“Where’s Nordstrom?” “It’s across the street.”

“Where’s Starbucks?” “Dude…”

“Where’s my ass?” “Put the map down. I’ll show you.”

Poor tourists. They were always so close. If the tourist attraction they were searching were a snake, it would have bit them. Every time.

So I’m walking fast, I’m important, I’ve gotta get somewhere and I see someone’s Grandma walking toward me. She fixes her gaze on me as she approaches which is the tourist’s silent signal that they are about to ask directions.

Let me take a moment and describe her to you. She was all tweeded out. Hound’s-tooth jacket and matching skirt. Sensible shoes. White hair in a bun. Umbrella, in case.

She looked out of place, like she’d fallen from the sky, when it comes to Seattle tourists. She was prim. You don’t encounter prim very often in Seattle…broad, generalizing statement. And she wasn’t from Seattle…you could just tell.

“Excuse me, she asked, could I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” Bet I looked at my watch.

“What do you for a living?”

Oh. That is not across the street.

“I’m in advertising sales at a TV station.”

“Do you love it?”

“Well, yes, I like it a lot.”

“If you could do anything, what would it be?”

“I’d be a writer.”

“What is keeping you from doing that, fear or money?”

“Probably both.”

“So If you didn’t have to worry about money, you’d be a writer?”

“Yes.”

And then The Brilliant Girl looked this stranger in the face who was asking thought provoking questions and somehow getting her to respond openly and without hesitation and said, “I really have to go.”

I really have to go.

I smack my forehead with the heel of my hand and spit “Stupid!” (V-8) every time I replay this story.

I have a firm belief that Tweedy Grandma was *sent*. You know sent…perhaps from on high…to urge me to stop, think and focus on my dreams. (I’m whispering now because –A) I’m sharing and that makes me uncomfortable and– B) I’m pretty sure this might sound weird). Weird because I would NEVER tell a perfect stranger deep personal things on the street. And WEIRD because our conversation was eye ball to eye ball, rapid fire—ask, answer, ask, answer. I never hmm’d and thought about my answer — I just spat it out.

For years, I would search the crowd downtown in hopes of seeing her.

“Ask me more! Ask me more! Tweedy Grandma, please expose my soul with your questions!” I would have pleaded, pulling at her sleeve.

I kick myself to this day that I ended the conversation so prematurely. She made me think about important things in a way I hadn’t for a long time.

What words do you need to hear for your match to get struck?

I’m not talking about motivation—I’m not talking about that extra push you need to get you up the hill. I’m talking about words that dance around, slap you in the face and leave you with your mouth agape. These words leave new thoughts in their wake.

Some conversations leave us changed. We’ve all have had conversations that change our thinking, illuminate a dark path and engage us. Words are power and we hear them differently depending upon the time in our life.

I know one thing. If you want this type of experience, you’ve got to watch for it. I must be the sentry standing at the gate, observant and attentive. If you make your intention known, things will start falling from the sky and knocking you on the head.

Make sure you don’t end the experience prematurely.