Outside my window is a very tall pine tree. It’s full of new growth, thin spindly long branches that grow up and out. Fat little birds will perch on the very end of these branches, relaxed as the skinny branch curves and bows under their weight into an upside down C. How do they understand the pliability of the branch?
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My mom once told me “Don’t pray for patience because you’ll be shown how to be patient in ways you never wanted to imagine.” You are driving me up the wall. I see right through your bravado—I think the only one you’re fooling is you. And the neediness. It makes me want to push you off like a slime. Going to high school in Austin, MN—the Home of Hormel—grants one particular access. Unless you too grew up in a meat packing town, I doubt you know what I’m talking about. When I walk outside, dinosaurs don’t chase me. I don’t see danger at every turn. My fight or flight response rarely if ever has good cause to kick in. Tested. I’m finding that I like to designate a new year *The Year of Fill InThe Blank* before I get too far into it. Sort of give it a theme, like a ride and Disneyland. We all have hopes and dreams—goals we’re working towards—projects we’re passionate about. These things light our fire, fuel us and often times become a part of our identity. Take all choice away. Just grind me down to a nub. Shove and elbow me right to the very edge. Force me into a corner, take away my wet paint brush and turn off the lights. |
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