I have been practicing being strong with my least strong part. My weakest part. I map its boundaries, feel out it’s yes and no and then try to push past…
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I’m learning a big lesson right now, I think. About fighting. I love to fight—fight for what’s right—or better—fight to BE right. We could all use a kingmaker. That influencer who initiates or completes action for our benefit. The muscle who ensures that things get done for us. There are points in your life when you want things to be different and you feel like you don’t get much say in the matter. The all consuming desire for that which eludes you… I have a theory: Feeling like you’re going to lose is the same thing as losing. You may disagree. Obviously one happens in your head and one happens in actuality. There is some beauty in the blur as things are changing. That smeary moment of endings and beginnings—like runners exchanging a baton—there’s always a little overlap. Sometimes when I am painting, I think my canvas may bow in the middle like a cheap swing set—a result of all of the layers of paint that are resting on it. You are a puzzle, my friend, a fascinating puzzle. You are one surprise after another, just like those crazy Russian nesting dolls. You’ve been clever and intricate with how you’ve bound up that heart of yours. Maybe is a dark little town where the inhabitants never travel to No and never visit Yes. Even though the trip would be easy. You know those moments when you’ve asked the great Unknown how your life can be better, what you can do to make a difference, how you can be the example you always… |
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