Not Quite Ice But No Longer Water
by Jill MacGregor
If you believe that you can damage, then believe that you can fix.
There’s a soft center spot, a place where things have not fully come together, a sort of hazy Bermuda Triangle where change insists you shed something old and pick up something new.
It’s somewhere in between fixed and getting fixed, the land of almost but not quite, the limbo place where you go to heal.
It’s not a place you want to stay for too long because things aren’t fully defined. This is a slushy spot designed for kick off only. A pass through but by no means a shortcut. If you stay there too long you become a bit like a ship lost in the fog—no stars to steer by, no land to point toward—just the haze that envelopes you.
We’ve all visited this spot—it’s a popular destination when you’re experiencing great change in your life or doing some important healing. It’s a place where Change sends you to redefine normal.
Here’s what I know.
You were blind, but now you see
The picture you paint for yourself changes as you move through life. Sometimes it’s a pretty, pretty picture, painted by a carefree spirit and you skip in a little circle when it comes into view. But there are times when you are forging a path from one picture to the next…things can begin to look different as you are in transition. Your new picture can look like it’s painted by an unsure and shaky hand and, as you stare, it may only leave you with questions. Sometimes you don’t know what to do with what you see.
But, this is your picture. For now, anyway.
Stop trying to make the difficult easy
Because there is nothing easy about what you are working toward. It feels hard because it is hard, my friend, and some things are meant to be hard. You’re getting tested. Sit up, pay attention and learn. For now, you’re going to have to walk through the fire. Benefit: the new version of you runs faster and jumps higher.
Some knowledge comes with tears
And that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Sometimes, we must do hard work—work that is so hard we think we may not be able to do it. The reward is hard earned information—usually about ourselves. You are here for a reason—this kind of work isn’t thrust on anyone by accident.
Healing is the hardest thing you will ever do
That’s really all I have to say on that one.
Remember that you are loved
Yes, you are very self sufficient. Good job, you. On the other hand, what you’re working on now can feel very overwhelming in the most unexpected ways and at the cruelest times. Sometimes, the hardest thing to remember is that you are not alone and that people love you—somehow that seems to be harder than remembering that you are strong. Ask for help when you need it. There is a line forming of all those who want to lessen your load—even if it’s just for a moment.
The beautiful risk
This is just a place you’re walking through—not a place you have to remain, even if it may feel like you are forever stuck in the quicksand. Keep moving forward, even if it’s hard—especially if it’s hard. What you’ve gone through will always stay with you, but not in a way that makes you feel haunted. It was the edge you thought you teetered on, only to later realize, you always had a net.
And so many arms reaching to catch you if you fell.