my little fontanel

We all have a soft spot. And I don’t mean *a soft spot for someone else*—something that causes us to overlook their weaknesses. I mean our own tender fragile spot that shouldn’t be touched. Maybe that soft spot is trying to come together and become strong. Maybe it never will. That soft spot is usually a leftover of some emotional injury that has left a weak area. Your personal poached egg that can become an ooey, gooey emotional mess if someone applies too much pressure.

What do you do about these weak spots? How do you strengthen them?

Bringing Things Out Into the Light

Everything needs a little air especially those things we cradle and protect–certainly those things have proven to be our weaknesses in the past. we’ve hidden them in our emotional attic–up there with the cobwebs, they wait for us knowing that we don’t know how to throw them away.

Share the part that makes you feel weakest with a close friend. Talk about it. You will find that everyone has their own little fontanel. There is comfort in know that it’s not just you. You’ll also find discussing your injury takes some of the hurt out of it.

Unnecessary Girding of the Loins

Maybe all that protection you’ve been doing is superfluous. You don’t always need to wear a hard hat–sometimes all a hard hat does is make your hair look weird.

“There is a muscle that protects the injury.” I heard this sentence once and it caught my attention. Of course, this was on some medical show I’d crossed paths with—it wasn’t talking about our exposed, emotional areas. I understand what they meant though, having 12 pins in my hip. I also understand that the muscle can go on protecting the injury way past what’s necessary. It’s called a habit and fear. And this kind of habit causes other muscles to be unnecessarily tense, occasional flinching in expectation of an awkward touch, reticent to certain movements.

I will reinforce: 9 times out of 10 this level of protection is completely unnecessary. Just an old habit that is no longer useful. You’re just afraid that it’s going to hurt so you become needlessly cautious.

Dragging Around the Rotting Corpse

Here we are– at an uncomfortable yet natural progression. So you’ve got your old injury and it’s very real. Especially when it happened. And I bet it taught you a lot about yourself and being strong and being a better version of yourself the next time something like that happens in your life.

If it ever does again.

But you can put it down now. Let go. You have painstakingly protected yourself, meticulously guarded your previously injured area. But I’m afraid you’ve nurtured it beyond what is called for. And this care you’ve given it—it’s allowed it to grow and develop into something larger than what it originally was. Don’t get mad…but you may have turned it into a bit of a treasure and allowed it to define you. I said don’t get mad. It’s just all that shit– it makes a thing grow.

Just put it down and leave it here. Man, that’s gotta be heavy.

Well, Now What?

I know. You were so accustomed to it. But this will be easier. Distract yourself from the need to check where your injury once was, like your tongue searching constantly for the cut in your mouth. Try focusing on someone else. Doing something good for someone else will make you feel good too. Be a friend to yourself. It can be that simple, really.

Nothing’s impossible. Not even making your soft spots into a strength.

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