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Posted on Nov 10, 2009 in being hard on yourself, change | 3 comments


by Jill MacGregor

You are a fake and everyone knows it.

We all talk about it when you’re not around. That silence you detect when you walk into the room—we only hope you didn’t hear what we were saying about you because we know it would shatter your fragile as glass ego.

We talk about that, too, when you’re not around.

In fact, all the times we are unable to make your gaze–it’s because we’re replaying the last 10 conversations we had with others discussing the mock-up life you wave in front of us on a regular basis.

We think it’s sad. More accurately, we pity you.

You seem to be the only one buying the fabrication.

Actually, we’ve gotten to the point where we feel it imperative to call you out and name you for what you truly are—an imposter—and have this sham over with once and for all.

We’re tired of pretending and you must be too.

Do you hear this conversation a lot? It was pretty harsh, wasn’t it? All that constant doubt…

That voice is yours and yours alone and only one person can still the sound of it.

You couldn’t hire someone to give you a beating as severe as this one. There is only one person strong enough to beat this bully down and its you.

How To Knock The Bully on Its Ass

Take a deep breath. Never underestimate the power of a deep breath. Oxygen is one of the main ingredients responsible for energy production in our bodies. Taking a deep breath is more than a good idea…its SCIENCE. Breathe deep and renew your cells!

Remind yourself of who you truly are. Which is a good person who tries hard and works to be fair. It’s easy to get caught up; beating yourself up for not being perfect but, honestly, perfect isn’t very interesting. You will learn so much more from the occasional misstep and you’ll be a better person for it in the long run.

Look at things you might need to change. I hate to break it to you, but *controlling other’s thoughts* has no place on this list. We are all works in progress, constantly up for revision. If you could change one thing about yourself or your life, what would it be? Start there. We all have trusted advisors in our lives. Check in with yours for some helpful feedback and reinforcement to make the changes that will be important.

Treat yourself as a friend would. Gentle, gentle. There’s no reason for this rough behavior and you wouldn’t allow anyone to be so abusive toward you—even if that *anyone* was you. A friend appreciates you for who you are. A friend supports you through difficult times. A friend stands up for you. Try emulating this behavior.

You’re worth it.


  1. Your Dad and I really liked this one, too. Great job of pegging us all. ha Love you, Mom

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