Pray to God But Row For Shore

by Jill MacGregor

What do you do when everything seems to be falling apart? Let’s say something that you felt defined who you were collapsed or something important that you relied on was lost—or you’ve gotten a horrible piece of news that is making you feel like everything around you is going to change and not for the best. Do you fall with it, crumble right there? How do you move through the most difficult of situations and make it to the other side? Moving forward and through is your best strategy and also the only way to find what you’re looking for.

Lay down…but just for a minute. Because if you have been hit hard, you need to take a moment. It’s ok to have a little cry, eat a little ice cream and have special pity party for one. It’s not going to be beneficial if you realized you’ve been doing this for a week. Try not to feed your pain with heapin’ helpin’s of self pity and negativity.

Put yourself in charge–Look, someone’s got to ringmaster this show and it might as well be you. You may not feel like it, but you do call the shots. You control how you’re going to respond and react to everything that is happening. Stop pointing your finger at other people or events and giving them all the power. Make this moment your starting point. Put yesterday behind you and keep it where it belongs—and make a new, fresh, unsullied square one.

Change the way you’re thinking…shut up, yes, you can. DECIDE to. Sometimes life is just that simple. Because you’re in charge. Yes, you are…

Act the way you want to feel—there’s a lot to be said for fake it till you make it but *act the way you want to feel* is more like setting and reaching an emotional goal for yourself. Just like a pair of jeans that are too tight, *acting the way you want to feel* doesn’t feel comfortable at first. But also like tight jeans, you’ll find there’s a bit of give you didn’t first detect. The longer you walk around with this idea, the more it will begin to feel comfortable. Give this a chance. (I was introduced to this gem at The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin’s site.)

Make a little plan—I’m just saying *little* so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Figure out what the next chapter needs to look like. Pretend it could be anything because what if it could? Create a perfect scenario for yourself and if you only hit 3 out of 5 of the details of the scenario, you’ll still be much closer to where you want to be than when you started. At this point, regroup, reassess. Your plan of attack can be revised as you gain momentum and move closer to what you want.

Don’t hide—You know your situation may suck but that doesn’t mean you do. Sometimes it may be hard to remember that but make it your new mantra. You are not your situation. Get out and be with people. It will make you feel better. Better is always good.

Ask for help–Tell friends what you’re looking for, tell the Universe, say a prayer—it could be for a solution, a job, a feeling, a resource or a direction. Ask for what you need even if you can only make out its shape in the darkness. Things begin to take shape the more they get discussed. People like to help and offer feedback. You know just who to go to in your circle of friends and family who can help.

Listen to your gut and watch for the signs—think about it. You’ve made your plan, you’ve asked for help, now lets see what the response is. Keep your eyes open. Pay attention to your instincts.

You can’t fall off the floor—for the sake of argument, assume this is the bottom which we all know allows you a strong and generous springboard for shooting back up to your next endeavor.

Trust—all things for a reason. That may make you want to punch the wall right now but I bet if you look hard enough, you’ll see the lesson you’re supposed to learn.

Pray to God but row for shore—you know, heaven helps those who help themselves? Get crack-a-lackin—be an active participant in moving things forward.